Looking at my friends, I mean my real life friends who are women, I came to realize that I can just pick one of them to be my girlfriend or someone who I can marry.
but sadly, Even if I can do that, I would not just do that.
days have passed and I still think of her. if i can just forget her in a snap, I have already done it a thousand times.
i have been a mess but I liked her for who she is and I took what she said that "I'm here" seriously. And I don't even know if I can hold on to that.
Right now, I dunno where she is. Or maybe, she has someone new that's why she dropped me. But when I decided to be real and ask for one last chance, that was also the time when she cut all her communications with me. So I decided to let her go.
If she only knew how much I am suffering internally every day.
i do not even know why I cannot forget her, I did not even had a chance to meet her.
i hope someday, i will learn to love myself too, so I can think of a way to just get her out of my mind just like what she did to me.
Why would I even get a bad carma back, if all I did was to love someone from the virtual world truthfully?
i am hoping that the feelings aren't real, so that this would just be very easy for me and manning up would not be that difficult. but the fact is, the feelings are true and real.
Fck this. i hope one day, I will wake up and all the feelings I have for her will be gone. She is not here anymore. There is no more reason for me to feel this way.
but sadly, Even if I can do that, I would not just do that.
days have passed and I still think of her. if i can just forget her in a snap, I have already done it a thousand times.
i have been a mess but I liked her for who she is and I took what she said that "I'm here" seriously. And I don't even know if I can hold on to that.
Right now, I dunno where she is. Or maybe, she has someone new that's why she dropped me. But when I decided to be real and ask for one last chance, that was also the time when she cut all her communications with me. So I decided to let her go.
If she only knew how much I am suffering internally every day.
i do not even know why I cannot forget her, I did not even had a chance to meet her.
i hope someday, i will learn to love myself too, so I can think of a way to just get her out of my mind just like what she did to me.
Why would I even get a bad carma back, if all I did was to love someone from the virtual world truthfully?
i am hoping that the feelings aren't real, so that this would just be very easy for me and manning up would not be that difficult. but the fact is, the feelings are true and real.
Fck this. i hope one day, I will wake up and all the feelings I have for her will be gone. She is not here anymore. There is no more reason for me to feel this way.