To the woman who broke my heart,
I thought that nothing could ever break me as much as how my 8-year relationship ended few years ago, until I met you online.
Your accusation was true, I was a liar when I pretended to be someone else. And to tell you the truth, until now I am still a liar. I am still that man who pretends in front of my family, friends and other people everyday. I am still that man who lies to myself. I lie to them, everyday. I pretend in front of them, always. I have to, because I never want them to see how much torn I am. I do not want them to see how what happened to us is continuing to make me feel wretched. I lie to them. I pretend. All this time they know I am overjoyed, on a cloud nine and contented. But I am not.
Every night I go home, I go straight inside my room, tipsy and inebriated. I sit on the floor and overthink. I think, think and think until I couldn't even count the number of sleepless nights I spent,thinking about the what if's, the regrets and this excruciating pain. I chose to stop talking to anyone because no one could understand me. If you left without even considering how I feel for you, then I don't think anyone would understand what's inside of me.
Until now, I still feel the same for you. Everyday I beg my heart and mind to stop thinking about you. I haven't seen or met you but every minute, every second of the day, I see myself lying to all people around me. I am not on a cloud nine and it is not true that I am flying high. Every night that I go home under the influence of alcohol, I feel a throbbing in my heart and in my brain.
I just want this to end if you are not coming back. I am tired because you are not here anymore. As each day passes, the more I become broken and devastated.
I just hope this fleeting something is a lie because it's real. I have fallen for you months ago and until now it's just you.
I thought that nothing could ever break me as much as how my 8-year relationship ended few years ago, until I met you online.
Your accusation was true, I was a liar when I pretended to be someone else. And to tell you the truth, until now I am still a liar. I am still that man who pretends in front of my family, friends and other people everyday. I am still that man who lies to myself. I lie to them, everyday. I pretend in front of them, always. I have to, because I never want them to see how much torn I am. I do not want them to see how what happened to us is continuing to make me feel wretched. I lie to them. I pretend. All this time they know I am overjoyed, on a cloud nine and contented. But I am not.
Every night I go home, I go straight inside my room, tipsy and inebriated. I sit on the floor and overthink. I think, think and think until I couldn't even count the number of sleepless nights I spent,thinking about the what if's, the regrets and this excruciating pain. I chose to stop talking to anyone because no one could understand me. If you left without even considering how I feel for you, then I don't think anyone would understand what's inside of me.
Until now, I still feel the same for you. Everyday I beg my heart and mind to stop thinking about you. I haven't seen or met you but every minute, every second of the day, I see myself lying to all people around me. I am not on a cloud nine and it is not true that I am flying high. Every night that I go home under the influence of alcohol, I feel a throbbing in my heart and in my brain.
I just want this to end if you are not coming back. I am tired because you are not here anymore. As each day passes, the more I become broken and devastated.
I just hope this fleeting something is a lie because it's real. I have fallen for you months ago and until now it's just you.