I realized that I have already spent a long time drowning myself into this grief and depression. If she has moved on by blocking me everywhere, then yes it is time for me to move on, too. I took these two girls seriously, then the other one did not forgive me and both of them just left me. They only knew me when I made them happy, especially the last one, the virtual one. But when I made a mistake, no chance. I am going to stop taking girls seriously from now on.
When Kim experienced pain from me, I asked for chances that I did not really feel. She told me that I had a chance but I did not even really feel it. It's enough. I've taken these two girls seriously and for the first time in my life I realized that it's only me that was really hurt. I will move on with my life and stop loving truthfully. Like what these two girls did, girls would just be there if you are making them happy. But one single mistake will make them leave just like that.
No more serious attachments to anyone.
I will let everything go, including the only good part in me -- which is loving a woman with my whole heart and soul.
Both of them ruined me. They ruined the whole me. And I can never be repaired again. So this person who I am now is the result of what happened to my life after two women turned their backs on me despite telling me that: "I am not leaving" or "I am here". I am totally wrecked. Julia and Kim wrecked me. But the worst part is, I totally ruined myself for liking and falling in love with someone from the virtual world.
This will never happen to me again. I would never ever let myself be hurt again.